Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
