Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
