Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize