i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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