yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
