Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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