Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
