Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
