Will you blow on my dice?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
it glows. i had to have it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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