Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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