I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
