Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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