His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
