She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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