I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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