i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You made out with two different species that night
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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