I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
