ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
