I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
