Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
