How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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