I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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