Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
