What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize