He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
