Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have already put on my inside pants.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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