sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
