laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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