Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
her vagine was all disorganized.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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