You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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