I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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