is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
