that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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