Fine. I'll sleep in my office
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
