I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
