just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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