he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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