She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
