rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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