Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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