You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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