It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I love you.
Bad choice
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