i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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