i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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