i just wanna soil my oats bro
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
