Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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