I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
