By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
