Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Randomize
