Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
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