ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
