you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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