it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize