I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
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So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
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who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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