Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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