i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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