i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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