i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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