I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
