i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Found the puke drawer
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
