No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize