he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
